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WoW Classic is Necrophilia

why are you playing wow classic/>

<h5>published 8/27/2019</h5>


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published: 8/27/2019

I woke up this morning really mad. A bunch of zoomers were waiting to play a game that died a decade ago. I think they want to play it because they want to say they played "Vanilla WoW". Maybe they want to play it because BLIZZARD ACTIVISION HAS done a great job giving free access to a bunch of TWITCH streamers. This has made other Twitch streamers buy the game. All of them are waiting online to play.

World of Warcraft was the MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game) that redefined the genre. If you want the full history you can go read a wikipedia article. I'm not really here to discuss the game. What I am here to do is be contrarian and COMPLAIN about Blizzard/Activision. A few years ago, I wrote a piece about Heroes of the Storm. A game made for children. In this piece, I wrote about how Blizzard was finding a nice niche for their now older audiences.

" The second secret to Blizzard’s recent success has been the shift in their mindset for their games. The hardcore audience has gotten older. Most of them don’t have the time to invest in the games they grew up with. World of Warcraft is somewhat of an exception, but over the years — the time sink has dwindled. Early Blizzard excelled at world building and lore building. Their casual games, like Hearthstone and Fisher-Price DOTA are essentially nostalgia simulators. They have all the sound, visuals, and flavor of the older games — and for some fans (like myself), that’s the general appeal. I started playing Hearthstone and still play, because I think the art team does a great job and it’s an excellent Warcraft soundboard. "

This was before Blizzard went absolutely insane, fired a bunch of people, started reskinning mobile games, and shut down all the cool Vanilla WoW servers in order to reclaim "their code" in order to repackage it with the big CLASSIC in order to sell to a society addicted to the big nostalgia dick. For whatever reason, BlizzActivision decided to focus literally everything on Overwatch and Overwatch League, remove support for anything fun. The problem is that Overwatch was only fun for the first two weeks it was out. It's a toxic, boring game. It's difficult to watch because of how ugly and flashy it is. The only people who like it don't even play it. They just like to draw fanart of the disabled characters. That's fine, but it doesn't exactly make sense as a business model. But they can't nerf Qhira because of the implication. They also can't backtrack on their terrible decision to only support Overwatch because of the implication. God forbid anyone admits they are wrong. Glad I'm never wrong.

WoW Classic is Necrophilia. The game is dead. Times have changed. It's time to iterate. This release is basically the same as a lich raising his dead wife so he can pull her crumbling bones around for two more weeks just to try to relive any of the magic that may have once been there. The saddest part is that after all the people the Lich destroyed, all the forbidden knowledge consumed to perform the ritual, and the sacrifice of its living child - he will only find solace in his dead wife for a paltry few weeks.

There will be a braindead race for firsts. FIRST TO 60 in WOW CLASSIC. The articles will be everywhere. GOD IF ONLY IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME.

DO YOU REMEMBER STORMWIND. THIS IS THE MUSIC FROM STORMWIND. THIS IS VARIAN! GUYS HE'S STILL KING.

Well, at least Blizzard gets some gamer bucks and gamers get to say they played vanilla wow. "Yeah I played at my Uncle's when I was little - so I just want to revisit that". Yeah yeah yeah. Twitch streamers will get views. But at what cost.

"Everything", Gul'dan says in the back of your mind.

The death throes of Blizzard are so sad and tragic.

At least we have Overwatch 2 to look forward to. I promise you, it's okay to want for a better game. It's okay to want new games. If you're out there, young, hungry and considering playing WoW: Classic. Just take a moment and think. Maybe you're the one person out there that can save us from this dismal future of nostalgia rereleases and cheap dopamine hits. You could make the next WoW. You could be the next Blizzard. I'm excited to see what you make. Before spending these next two months grinding to 60 ((which if you really want to, you can and will (we're all masters of our own destiny)), just take 5 minutes to write down your idea. I believe in you. You can save us all.

To conclude:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Update: 9/3/2019

So that guy did hit 60 first. Articles out there.

I'm now playing World of Warcraft: Classic. Why? Because I'm weak-willed. But, I'm not one to never admit to being wrong. The game is good. It was also good 13 years ago when I played it this version of it the summer before college. You can probably read a bunch of other articles about why it's good. Community, difficulty, sense of scale, a sense of world, you know what they say. I've spent a good bit of time digging through Activision|Blizzard quarterly shareholder reports. King, the makers of candy crush, are now owned by A|B. They are the biggest bread winner for the company right now. That's scary. Maybe eating crow and realizing people want games with some thought behind them and not just more disabled Overwatch characters will not only change the gaming landscape at Activision|Blizzard, but all around. Maybe some smart company will realize that people actually don't like playing MMORPG's alone and that hand holding cheapens the experience for everyone. We may even see a return to an RTS era. Classic was requested for so long and pushed back against for so long - that it's amazing it happened. It makes retail WoW look like a big error.

You know what else is a big error - me.

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